how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
