I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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