is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
