Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
God, I missed his penis.
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