I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
