I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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