i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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