Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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