Whatcha textin bout Willis?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
