oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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