Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
