Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Randomize
