Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
