just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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