you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
