There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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