I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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