It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
