is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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