Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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