Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
