I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
