No awkward lesbian experiences without me
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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