Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
