He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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