I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
