im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
she woke up with a sticky ear
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
