Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
