I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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