So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
