Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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