My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
