i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
