Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
