is wine microwaveable?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
