are you still at the devil's house?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
