So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
