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• (720): View more from Colorado

  You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends

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• (214): View more from Texas

  No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Olive Garden will never be the same.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  You high??

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