I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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