Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
