I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Damn victory sex feels great
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
