he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
