im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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