I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
