I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
