i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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