I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Randomize
