I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize