So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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