i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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