was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
