There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I've blown a few things in my day
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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