I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
