He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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