I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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