where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
