who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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